0:00

to Breakdown to Breakthrough, the podcast

0:02

that empowers you to transform your

0:04

life by awakening to your true

0:07

authentic self. I'm Lisa Aromano, your

0:09

host. As an award -winning author

0:11

and certified life coach, I've dedicated

0:13

my life to helping others understand

0:16

the incredible power of an organized

0:18

mind. I believe that true empowerment

0:20

begins with awakening to our false

0:22

self. I created the Conscious Healing

0:25

Academy, a three -part coaching and

0:27

brain retraining program designed to help

0:29

individuals triumph over trauma and turn

0:31

their breakdowns into powerful breakthroughs.

0:34

My mission is to support

0:36

you on your journey toward

0:38

mental and emotional regeneration through

0:40

conscious and deliberate awakening. In

0:42

this podcast, I'll share insights,

0:44

tools, and transformative stories that

0:46

illuminate the path to healing

0:48

and self -discovery. So

0:52

today we're going to be talking

0:54

about how codependent belief systems, which

0:56

reside at the subconscious level, block

0:58

the good in your life. So

1:00

we have to understand codependency as

1:02

a defense strategy. Codependency

1:05

is a belief system. I

1:08

believe that codependency is a

1:10

disease of perception. Lens

1:14

through which we see ourselves through

1:16

and perceive ourselves through is corrupt

1:18

Before the age of three you

1:20

were supposed to be able to

1:22

be permitted to form a healthy

1:24

ego identity. I have a

1:27

little granddaughter She's two and a half

1:29

years old and part of that creation

1:31

process for us as a family is

1:33

that we're all on the same page

1:35

We know that if she has big

1:37

feelings She is encouraged

1:39

to feel her big feelings

1:42

and she is encouraged to

1:44

express why she thinks she

1:46

has these feelings because there

1:48

is a belief or thought

1:50

or a sense that happens

1:52

below the feeling. And so

1:54

we don't want her to

1:56

get stuck in anger or

1:58

sadness. We're already at two

2:00

and a half years old. encouraging her,

2:02

validating for her, witnessing her emotions,

2:05

it's called healthy mirroring. And

2:07

it creates a space in which this

2:09

little baby is allowed to feel everything

2:11

and without judgment. It's

2:13

a non -judgmental zone. And

2:16

thank God for the work that

2:18

I've done. in my own life

2:20

and the healing that I've done

2:22

with my own inner child and

2:24

the healing I've done as a

2:26

codependent mom is a single codependent

2:28

mom as the daughter of adult

2:30

children of alcoholics and healing all

2:32

of those mother wounds and rejection

2:34

by my father and the conditional

2:36

love thing. Thank heaven that I've

2:38

done this body of work over

2:40

the past I would say almost

2:42

30 years now because I'm able

2:44

to pass this wisdom down to

2:46

my children and now my granddaughter

2:48

is reaping the benefits of it.

2:50

And it's the same reason that

2:52

I turn to YouTube or Insight Timer

2:55

or my podcast or Facebook or

2:57

Instagram for the same reason. It's

2:59

the same reason I write my

3:01

books. It's to somehow get this

3:03

message out to other people so

3:05

that it stirs their spirit, so

3:07

that it stirs their mind because

3:09

we're all here on the same

3:11

journey. We have the same

3:13

brain we had the same needs

3:15

as little children that's why my

3:17

programs we offer them to everybody

3:19

all over the world and we

3:21

have similar results because as babies

3:24

as newborns we all had the

3:26

same needs doesn't matter if you

3:28

came from Afghanistan or Zimbabwe or

3:30

you were born in Antarctica. As

3:33

a newborn, you needed to connect

3:35

with your mother. You needed to

3:37

feel the flow of her love

3:39

towards you. You needed to feel

3:41

grounded to an energy being that

3:43

was grounded in her own sense

3:45

of self. Consider a healthy

3:47

sense of self, your grounding wire. And

3:50

before the age of three, someone

3:52

who was super grounded in their

3:54

sense of self, who knew that

3:57

they were enough, was supposed to

3:59

be able to anchor you. You

4:01

could anchor to them, and in

4:03

them, in you anchoring to your

4:05

mother, your father, your divine caretaker,

4:07

then them flowing energy. I see

4:09

you, you matter, your feelings matter,

4:11

what you think is important to

4:14

me. All of these amazing connections

4:16

from within the motherboard that has

4:18

all of this circuitry for enlightenment,

4:20

for self -compassion, for love, for

4:22

the ability to step into the

4:24

unknown without freaking out, the ability

4:26

to say no and to set

4:28

boundaries, the ability to take care

4:31

of one's own emotional needs versus

4:33

always take care of everybody else's

4:35

need, which is classic codependency, this

4:37

selfless, I'm going to worry about

4:39

you. I'm not going to worry

4:41

about myself. I'm going to allow

4:43

you to abuse me, put me

4:45

down, misunderstand me, project and gaslight.

4:48

I'm not going to set a

4:50

boundary. We don't even know that

4:52

we're in that process for more

4:54

codependent, which is why I'm always

4:56

trying to find a way to

4:58

get this message out there because

5:00

I believe most of the world

5:02

is suffering from some level of

5:04

codependency. they just don't know it

5:07

and most auto immune diseases that

5:09

occur inside a woman's body can

5:11

be traced back to over giving

5:13

trace back to selflessness and i'm

5:15

concerned with going beyond that okay

5:17

so i have this trade why

5:19

do i have this trade because

5:21

i believe that the mind isn't.

5:24

organizing mechanism. It's an organizing tool.

5:26

It's just the original data is

5:28

corrupt. And so what

5:30

we do at the Conscious Healing Academy

5:32

through the 12 -week Breakthrough Coaching Program,

5:34

the 8 -week Masterclass in Soul School,

5:36

is we help a person's mind organize

5:39

properly. And once the mind begins to

5:41

get new information and new data, it's

5:43

quite miraculous. It begins to organize. It's

5:45

similar to what happens when you listen

5:47

to a video or you listen to

5:49

a podcast or you read a book

5:51

or you see something happen in your

5:54

environment. It's like, aha moment. It's like

5:56

there's some new data, new information came

5:58

in. I think the problem that we

6:00

have is that many people are still

6:02

not looking for this information. They're scrolling

6:04

through social media. And they're

6:07

really not gaining knowledge. They're really not

6:09

sitting and gaining wisdom. And that's the

6:11

only way to reorganize your mind. So

6:13

the lens through which we see the

6:15

world is corrupt. So

6:17

all of the data that we

6:20

have for being a person in

6:22

a 3D world is ineffective. It's

6:25

faulty. It's negative. Codependents

6:28

push, love away. They

6:30

push abundance away. They push

6:32

healthy careers away. They push.

6:34

self -esteem away, they push

6:37

fulfilling experiences away because of

6:39

the faulty data. They're operating

6:41

their lives based on faulty

6:43

data, which is what I

6:46

call faulty negative subconscious childhood

6:48

programming. What helps

6:50

us so much reorganize our mind

6:52

is a couple of corrections in

6:54

cognitive distortions. You were born enough,

6:56

that means if you feel like

6:58

you're not good enough, one of

7:01

the organizing principles that you can

7:03

utilize to your brain's advantage and

7:05

your mind's advantage, which would increase

7:07

your ability to reason effectively on

7:09

your behalf is like, wait a

7:11

minute. I am enough. When you

7:13

go through life feeling like you're

7:15

not good enough, you are afraid

7:17

of the unknown. So you don't

7:19

take necessary risks. So you stay

7:21

in a paradigm. So

7:23

in terms of attracting into your

7:25

life, the good you can't because

7:28

you can only attract at the

7:30

level that you are. What is

7:32

the paradigm in your head? If

7:34

the paradigm part of the organizing

7:36

principle that is defective that you're

7:38

organizing your life with is I'm

7:40

not good enough or I need

7:42

to seek approval because you don't

7:45

feel good enough and you were

7:47

taught as a child that you

7:49

had the greatest chance of avoiding

7:51

trauma and avoiding pain when you

7:53

acquiesced when you subjugated when you

7:55

found a way to please your

7:57

parents when you discovered through the

7:59

pain versus pleasure principle in the

8:02

mind. which is all by default,

8:04

by the way, dear ones, our

8:06

brains all work that way. It's

8:09

pain versus pleasure, light and dark,

8:11

male and female. It's the law

8:13

of opposites that is governing our

8:16

lives. Once you crack this code,

8:18

your mind begins to reorganize itself

8:20

pretty much on its own consistently

8:23

as long as you keep introducing

8:25

this information over time. Your mind

8:28

can come back. under your conscious

8:30

control as you up emotional intelligence,

8:32

as you up correcting faulty programs,

8:35

as you diligently do this work.

8:37

So you want to understand that

8:39

codependency is you acting out of

8:42

paradigm from childhood. And

8:44

now imagine that a paradigm is

8:46

a vibrational entity. It's a frequency.

8:49

Now imagine frequency just equals

8:52

patterns. It's not uncommon,

8:54

as I'm sure you know, for

8:56

someone who is highly codependent to

8:59

manifest or feel attracted to an

9:01

alcoholic partner who has high narcissistic

9:03

traits, especially if dad was an

9:06

alcoholic and dad had high narcissistic

9:08

traits. And you learned as a

9:10

little girl, your paradigm is, your

9:13

belief system and your frequency is

9:15

that I get approved of by

9:17

my dad when I disown my

9:20

own reality. I pretend that I'm

9:22

not sad and I smile at

9:24

him when he's being loud and

9:27

obnoxious and he's making fun of

9:29

me. And I pretend

9:31

that it's okay. I stuff my

9:33

feelings. So I stuff my feelings.

9:36

My ego comes online says,

9:38

don't feel that. because you know

9:41

through repetition, observation and consistency that

9:43

if you challenge your father,

9:45

more pain shows up. So

9:47

it's happening by default, pain

9:49

versus pleasure. The minute

9:51

you assume pain with speaking up,

9:54

at the same time, your brain,

9:56

your mind understands and makes a

9:58

connection to pleasure with shutting up.

10:01

This governs your life. This

10:03

is where autoimmune diseases come

10:05

from. This is where dissatisfaction

10:08

comes from. This is why

10:10

a codependent person will block

10:12

love. They will block

10:14

abundance. They will block mental health.

10:16

They will block harmony. They

10:19

will block balance. They will block

10:21

Spirit they will block their ability

10:23

for their own bodies to heal

10:25

itself through these faulty paradigms. So

10:27

we want to get clear about

10:30

codependency being a pattern. It's a

10:32

program. It's designed through childhood. If

10:34

you did not learn by the

10:36

time you were 18 months old

10:38

that you could trust your environment.

10:40

You see when you were a

10:43

newborn baby, you were processing information

10:45

through your five senses all the

10:47

time and you had just a

10:49

little bit of data to go

10:51

by. So when you were hungry

10:53

and you had the impulse to

10:56

cry to alert the people in

10:58

your environment that you were hungry,

11:00

did that happen consistently? Or was

11:02

that feeling within your body go

11:04

back to a feeling? Hunger is

11:06

a feeling. And the impulse to

11:08

express that feeling, did that go

11:11

frustrated? Were you

11:13

picked up roughly? Were you

11:15

yelled at? How are

11:17

you handled when you expressed

11:19

yourself through crying as a

11:22

newborn? What was the response?

11:24

You see that's when we're

11:26

being conditioned as adults. Do

11:29

I have the right to

11:31

feel, to express, to

11:33

let it out and can I trust that

11:35

the people in my environment are going to

11:38

respond to me because I am completely helpless.

11:40

This is where trust versus mistrust

11:43

comes online. I don't believe that

11:45

I learned to trust up at

11:47

18 months I do not believe

11:49

that and the reason I do

11:51

not believe that is because My

11:53

mother first of all, I don't

11:55

feel it in my being Never

11:58

felt safe with my parents. I'm

12:00

not complaining. I'm just explaining, you

12:02

know, like every

12:05

once in a while, I'll get a

12:07

criticism like, stop whining. I'm really not

12:09

whining. I'm looking under the hood of

12:12

the car that I am and I'm

12:14

trying to figure out why the spark

12:16

plugs don't work or why the distributor

12:19

cap keeps flying off or why the

12:21

alternator doesn't work. If I am not

12:23

working and what does it mean to

12:25

work? It means that you

12:28

feel content in your own skin. It

12:30

means that the past no longer controls you.

12:33

It means that you've learned how to surrender

12:35

to what has been. You can surrender to

12:37

what is. You have a stainless steel spine.

12:40

You have learned to give people permission

12:42

to misjudge you, to put you down,

12:44

to misunderstand you, to not understand you,

12:47

to walk away from you, to abandon

12:49

you, to cheat on you. Your sense

12:51

of self is no longer tied to

12:53

anything outside of you. That puts you...

12:55

in the field of potential, where

12:58

as long as you keep working on how

13:00

you feel and understanding your feelings represent a

13:02

pattern, as long as you

13:04

keep doing that, then you're fine -tuning

13:07

and you're fine -tuning, your paradigm within

13:09

yourself is going to change, and then

13:11

what shows up on the outside is

13:13

going to change. So if

13:15

you don't learn to trust by

13:17

the time that you're 18 months

13:19

that you're feelings, I'm hungry, I

13:21

cry, that need gets satisfied. As

13:24

you grow up now imagine that

13:26

you're three years old so now

13:28

you're actually verbalizing mommy i'm hungry

13:30

and. When you verbalize that, there's

13:32

a feeling, you acknowledge it, very,

13:34

very important. It's all part

13:37

of the ego boundary system. I have a

13:39

feeling, I acknowledge it, I express it through

13:41

my throat chakra, and then I

13:43

look out, hypervigilance, I look out to

13:45

my environment, I see what happens next.

13:48

If you came from a healthy home,

13:50

when you have a feeling, you express

13:52

it with your throat chakra, you put

13:54

it out into the quantum field. You're

13:56

not responsible for the energy or the

13:58

patterns of that quantum field. But for

14:00

argument's sake, let's say you're lucky, like

14:02

my granddaughter, you're born into

14:04

an amazing family. And when you say,

14:06

I'm hungry, the whole world stops and

14:08

tends to your needs. So what you're

14:11

learning is that it's safe. I have

14:13

a feeling. Ooh, I can

14:15

trust that feeling. That's me connecting

14:17

to my intuition. That's all part

14:19

of the self system, the self

14:21

perception system, which is very important.

14:24

This is what gets corrupted. As

14:26

for a young little girl that

14:28

grows up codependent or a little

14:30

boy that becomes a codependent man,

14:32

this is what happens. This is

14:34

why codependents continually push love away.

14:37

We're not tuned up for love.

14:39

We're tuned up to push love

14:41

away. Why? Because you have been

14:43

conditioned and programmed through your external

14:45

experience to understand the repetition observation

14:47

and consistency. It is not safe

14:50

to trust what you feel. So

14:52

then what happens? By default,

14:54

you start suppressing what you feel. By

14:56

default, you don't trust what you feel.

14:59

There's this safety guard inside of you,

15:01

the ego now. The ego's activated. Don't

15:03

do that, Lisa. Don't say that, Lisa.

15:06

Pain versus pleasure. Is it safer to

15:08

smile or safer to agree? Should you

15:10

have sex with this man that you

15:13

really don't want to have sex with?

15:15

Well, maybe you should because he might

15:17

get angry. Should you get in that

15:19

car with those people, even though that

15:21

you feel unsafe? And they're

15:23

all drinking. Well, if I say

15:25

no, then they might reject me.

15:28

So I better get in the

15:30

car. This is the way we

15:32

disown and abandon the self all

15:34

the time based on childhood corrupt

15:36

beliefs. And it's a paradigm. It's

15:39

an energy inside of us. And

15:41

so it's important. I've always felt,

15:43

and this is my process, is

15:45

I can't figure out a solution

15:47

until I clearly identify the problem.

15:50

And I think that many

15:52

healing modalities fall short because

15:54

we're just focusing on the

15:56

behavior or we're focusing on

15:58

changing the thought. I think

16:00

that we have to go

16:02

deeper. We have to, the

16:04

logical mind has to understand the emotional mind.

16:07

So if you think about the logical mind

16:09

as the observer and the emotional mind as

16:11

the one -year -old, the two -year -old,

16:13

the three -year -old, the four -year -old,

16:15

five -year -old, six -year -old, seven -year

16:17

-old, eight -year -old, nine -year -old, 10

16:20

-year -old that is in this toxic home

16:22

with this codependent mom and this stepfather who

16:24

is abusive and mom's ignoring what's happening, happening

16:26

with the stepfather or the grandfather's abusing the

16:28

children and they go to grandma and grandma's

16:31

like, I don't want to hear it, you're

16:33

lying. Like these are the situations that children

16:35

find themselves in and God knows and it's

16:37

becoming, thank God, we're finding

16:39

out more and more and more

16:41

about what's really going on with

16:43

the abuse of innocent children globally.

16:46

It's about time. It feels

16:48

like we're finally ready as

16:51

a society to understand the

16:53

depravity that people have towards

16:55

innocent children. And it's

16:58

so difficult to wrap your mind around

17:00

this idea that a mother or a

17:02

father could sell their child, for instance,

17:04

or a mother or father could know

17:06

that their child was being abused by

17:08

a step -parent and say nothing. Or

17:11

a parent can know that they're abusing

17:13

their child and they just keep doing

17:15

that. They don't get the help that

17:17

they need to stop being an abusive

17:19

parent. Like, I think we're finally at

17:21

a point in and humanity

17:23

that our consciousness can actually start

17:25

accepting that this is really going

17:27

on. I know that when I

17:29

first started talking about narcissistic mothers

17:31

and narcissistic fathers and toxic families,

17:33

there was some pushback. from mothers

17:36

or fathers, like, you're corrupting families.

17:38

No, I'm not corrupting families.

17:40

I'm helping the people that are

17:43

caught, these children that are caught

17:45

in these toxic experiences, recognize that

17:47

this family is toxic. If

17:49

you come from an alcoholic home,

17:52

that the family is toxic, the

17:54

system is toxic, and you, as

17:57

the one who is awakening, becomes

17:59

the most emotionally honest, now you

18:01

suffer the consequences of saying, Mom,

18:04

Dad's not tired. Dad's drunk again. What are

18:06

you going to do about it? Mom, there's

18:08

no food in the refrigerator. Dad

18:11

gambled all the money away. What are

18:13

you going to do about it? So

18:15

that can be very uncomfortable for a

18:17

family who is in denial. Remember, a

18:19

family is only as sick as its

18:21

secrets. That the truth sets you free.

18:23

Now, here's the thing about the truth.

18:25

I think it has to come in

18:27

stages. It has to come

18:29

in waves. That's why with the 12B

18:31

Breathe The Coaching program, we... you

18:34

these lessons over a 12

18:36

week period because the mind

18:38

has to digest one layer

18:40

at a time I know

18:42

that I could not see

18:44

in myself how my codependency

18:47

affected my children until the

18:49

first step was Seeing how

18:51

my mother's codependency affected me

18:53

how my mother's passive aggressive

18:55

narcissistic treats affected me and

18:57

blocked my ability to feel

18:59

love and to feel connected

19:01

to her. And so before

19:03

I could pin the tail on my own donkey's

19:06

butt, I had to pin the

19:08

tail on the butts of the donkeys

19:10

outside of me that created this corrupt

19:12

programming. because it would have been too

19:14

shaming for me to say, oh, well,

19:16

how did you affect your children now?

19:18

Because that is the truth. If you

19:21

are a dysfunctional, codependent person, your children

19:23

are going to suffer. There's no way

19:25

that they haven't. But I always caution

19:27

my clients and students in the class,

19:29

like just give me the first four

19:31

weeks of this coaching program so that

19:33

we can help you understand what happened

19:36

to you first. That alleviates

19:38

some shame. And it helps

19:40

to, in my opinion, begin the

19:42

process of self -ego boundary creation.

19:44

And once we understand what went

19:46

wrong, then we can fix it.

19:48

So in terms of you being

19:50

in a child and you not

19:53

getting what you needed, try to

19:55

keep in mind that you're here

19:57

to flip the brain. You're here

19:59

to flip pain versus pleasure on

20:01

its head. So as long as

20:03

you fear the unknown, you stay

20:05

in the paradigm. that you've only

20:07

known. And so if dad was

20:09

an alcoholic, or mom was an

20:12

alcoholic, or they were abusive, and

20:14

now you find yourself in an

20:16

abusive relationship, try to see it

20:18

as simply as a pattern, a

20:20

hologram that is resurfacing. Now

20:22

your ego will make you extremely

20:24

egocentric. You'll think at

20:26

your own ego defense, defense mechanisms, which

20:29

are not your fault, created, created all

20:31

of this so that we could operate

20:33

through ego until we woke up and

20:36

we realized we can transcend ego, which

20:38

is what so school is all about,

20:40

my third coaching program in this series.

20:42

But until we have this awakening, it's

20:45

really important that we conceptualize, like if

20:48

my life is a mess today, then

20:50

let me see the pattern in my

20:52

childhood. Because what kept me stuck a

20:55

lot of the time was the fear

20:57

of the unknown. What happens if I

20:59

do tell my truth? I remember specifically

21:02

feeling in my marriage, you can't get

21:04

in touch with how unhappy you are.

21:06

Because once you touch it, baby girl,

21:09

you're not going to be able to

21:11

unsee it. And knowing you, you're going

21:13

to want to try to fix it,

21:16

change it or escape it. And so

21:19

I had so many subconscious fears that

21:21

were black blocking my ability to create

21:23

a YouTube channel or block my ability

21:26

to write books. Now I have eight

21:28

bestselling books. It was,

21:30

look what happened. Once I

21:32

unblocked myself, I took off,

21:34

I flourished. I started my

21:37

first book in 2010. I

21:39

finished it in 2012. And right on the

21:41

heels of that, I published another book.

21:44

And then another book, and another book,

21:46

and another book. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

21:48

It was, I was blocking that

21:50

love. I was blocking that abundance.

21:53

Now I have, of course, social media,

21:55

probably a million followers who are learning

21:58

from this work. We have

22:00

communities on Facebook with 20 plus

22:02

thousand people. Think about

22:04

me as a person until

22:06

I could fix that block and

22:08

stop pushing abundance and love

22:10

away, which, by the way, I

22:13

was that magnetizing force. That

22:15

love was always in me.

22:18

But codependency, it's sort of like I

22:20

turned my back on the sun. the

22:23

son being the love that I am,

22:25

and the enoughness that I am, the

22:27

spiritual essence of my being, the enoughness,

22:29

right? The holiness of my being, which

22:31

you have too. But codependency

22:33

and childhood trauma turns you away

22:35

from that because you've been programmed

22:37

at the subconscious level to operate

22:39

by default through, don't say that,

22:42

don't think, don't feel, don't speak,

22:44

which is typical of a child

22:46

of trauma. Don't think, don't feel,

22:48

don't speak. Sit there, stay

22:50

hyper -vigilant, remain in this hologram,

22:52

push love away just like your

22:54

parents are pushing love away, but

22:56

be dependent on me forever. Be

22:59

codependent upon me forever. That's basically

23:01

what happens to us when we

23:03

get stuck in a paradigm and

23:06

we're pushing love away. I

23:08

would, I really hope what you're

23:10

hearing me say is that if

23:12

Lisa went through that and I

23:14

resonate what she's saying and she

23:16

broke through the veil and she's

23:18

created this amazing life despite this

23:21

original reality of hers than I can

23:23

too. Of course you can. Your brain

23:25

works the same way that my brain

23:27

works. The inner being that is within

23:30

me, I share it with you. We

23:33

are 99 .9 % exactly the

23:35

same. There's a very short. very

23:37

small minimal percentage that separates human

23:40

beings from one another. So the

23:42

same source that's within me is

23:44

flowing within you. The same love

23:47

that flows through me flows within

23:49

you. The differences that I have

23:51

spent the past, I would say

23:54

30. Almost 30 years doing nothing

23:56

but personal development work, doing nothing

23:59

but healing my inner child, doing

24:01

nothing but understanding the subconscious mind,

24:03

doing nothing but creating systems and

24:06

processes that other people could tap

24:08

into so they could also heal

24:10

their lives. But what did I

24:13

do differently? All I did

24:15

was stick to this and never give up. I

24:18

remember when I was first separated from

24:20

my ex -husband, I was terrified. I

24:23

didn't have a job. literally did not have a job.

24:25

And I literally broke and

24:27

shattered the paradigm. I got

24:30

out of the fear of

24:32

the unknown. My known

24:34

sucked. I was miserable. I

24:37

was stuck in a toxic relationship. I

24:39

was seeking my parents' approval. The paradigm

24:41

that I was in was the known,

24:43

but it was comfortable for me because

24:46

at least I knew what was going

24:48

to happen next. So that's the trick

24:50

of the codependent mind. That's the trick

24:52

of anybody's mind. The

24:54

fear of the unknown will keep you

24:56

in the unknown even if the known

24:59

is stuck. So if the known sucks,

25:01

you're blocking love. So I knew at

25:03

least intellectually you have to get out

25:05

of the known. So I threw myself

25:07

into the abyss and I'm telling you

25:09

it felt like the way I describe

25:11

it metaphorically is like somebody pushed me

25:14

off of this incredibly tall cliff. It

25:16

was dark outside. it was cloudy it

25:18

was misty and i was free falling

25:20

like my hands are just free falling

25:22

my legs are free falling and there

25:24

was no branch for me to hold

25:26

on to i had to let go

25:29

of everything i had to let go

25:31

of my. toxic family. I had to

25:33

let go of seeking approval. I

25:35

had to let go of the fantasies

25:37

that we were going to be a

25:40

healthy family one day. I had to

25:42

let go of thinking my brother and

25:44

my sister and I were going to

25:46

have healed relationships after how my parents

25:48

triangulated us and gaslit us and put

25:50

all these crazy ideas in our head.

25:52

I had to let go of the

25:54

fantasy that my ex -husband and I

25:57

were going to make it. We're going

25:59

to keep our family together, that we

26:01

were going to ride off into the

26:03

sunset one day as a healed couple.

26:05

I had to go of all of

26:07

it. is terrifying, but I can tell

26:09

you that that's where the magic happens

26:11

And I just hope that the information

26:14

and the work that I offer the

26:16

programs the workbooks that I offer meditations

26:18

I just hope it offers you a

26:20

little bit of solace a little bit

26:22

of hope that if Lisa did it

26:24

and she's telling me that that she

26:26

found her way out of it Maybe

26:29

I can do it too today. There's

26:31

so much more support and information available

26:33

on the internet Then an online coaching

26:35

courses and books and what not then

26:37

there ever was when I started this

26:39

journey there was nothing but books and

26:41

the books that I found were not

26:43

helping because there was no system in

26:46

process that I could plug into there

26:48

was information which helped me on codependent

26:50

oh okay I'm not crazy oh it's

26:52

tied to family trauma oh this is

26:54

family trauma but healing it. was a

26:56

very different experience. And so I just

26:58

hope that you're inspired to believe in

27:00

yourself. And if you are

27:03

someone who resonates this work and you

27:05

would like to work with me, please

27:07

visit www .lisaaromano .com. You can send

27:09

me an email at coachatlisaaromano .com. Tell

27:12

me a little bit about your story

27:14

and I will... you where I think

27:16

you might be able to fit in

27:18

our ecosystem. If you are

27:21

someone who wants to be a part of

27:23

a like -minded community, the Breakthrough Warrior membership

27:25

site has a lot of my programs available

27:27

for you, the Loving The Self video and

27:29

meditation program, the 12

27:31

-part codependency program. mini

27:33

modules, not the 12, we break the

27:36

coaching program. But the Breakthrough Warrior membership

27:38

site has so many, so many programs,

27:40

so many courses, so many workbooks and

27:42

so many worksheets. And it has a

27:45

community of people who are doing this

27:47

work right alongside you. And I offer

27:49

a monthly live stream as well. So

27:51

go to www .thesearemon .com and click

27:54

membership if you are interested. Namaste

27:56

everybody. Do you want, you are enough as about to

27:58

the 11 light. that is absolutely

28:00

in you, even if you can't feel it,

28:02

even if you can't see it, there's a

28:05

light inside of you. And all I

28:07

want to help you do is turn to

28:09

that light and look within and develop

28:11

the tools, the life skills you need to

28:13

live your best life ever. Until next

28:15

time, bye for now.