0:00

This episode is dedicated

0:02

to Evan Botus

0:05

from his dad. From

0:07

story times a child

0:09

through musical theatre, movies,

0:12

TV shows, laughing together

0:15

while listening to comedy

0:17

in the car and, of

0:19

course, the Magnus Archives.

0:21

We've always shared a

0:24

special bond when it

0:26

comes to the arts. The

0:39

Magnus

0:44

Protocol.

1:38

Okay, so

1:40

that would

1:42

be fleeing

1:45

subsection, voluntary,

1:47

cross-referenced with

1:49

betrayal and...

2:00

You're okay. You're okay,

2:02

Jack. It's okay. It's

2:04

okay. It's okay. Okay,

2:07

so I was looking

2:09

through one of Colin's

2:11

notebooks and you're

2:13

right. Yeah. Yeah, I'm

2:15

fine. You

2:18

sure? Because you don't

2:20

look fine. In fact, you

2:22

look enniff. I...

2:24

What? Enniff. Opposite

2:26

of fine. Maybe

2:28

even kitsatnaf. What?

2:31

Good. Now tell me five

2:33

things you can see. What?

2:35

Just do it. Oh, you.

2:38

Your desk, your computer,

2:40

your mouse, sand... Sands.

2:43

Never mind that. Four

2:45

things you can feel.

2:49

My jeans, the chair,

2:51

the desk, your hand.

2:53

Three you can hear.

2:56

What? Other than your

2:58

voice right in my

3:00

ear? That's one. Cars

3:02

outside, the computers again.

3:04

And smell? Dust

3:06

and that perfume you always

3:09

wear. The one that smells like

3:11

a magic shop. That'll be

3:13

the patchouli. I'm a woody scent

3:15

gal. And what can

3:17

you taste? Also perfume.

3:19

It's a lot close up. Good

3:22

enough. Better?

3:26

Yeah, actually, how

3:29

did you... I know a panic attack when I

3:31

see one. I've helped enough

3:33

people through them and been helped

3:35

for that matter. Thanks.

3:38

All part of the service. In

3:40

fact, for an extra five or

3:42

a month you can upgrade to

3:44

the premium Alice subscription, which includes

3:46

a weighted blanket and binging bad

3:48

TV. Good to know. I'm

3:52

assuming you don't want to

3:54

talk about it? Actually, I

3:56

think maybe it's about time

3:58

I did. Okay.

4:00

I already worked

4:03

out for myself.

4:05

I know I said I

4:07

didn't know what it

4:09

was, but I'm certain

4:12

it's a portal.

4:14

And I'm not sure

4:16

how to say this.

4:19

It's okay. I'm not

4:21

sure how to say this.

4:23

It's okay. I

4:25

already worked out for

4:28

myself. Really? It felt

4:31

like the obvious answer, but

4:33

I guess I just couldn't

4:35

face it. Not until I was

4:37

sure. And now you are? Yeah. Best

4:39

I can figure, it goes to,

4:41

well, not like hell, hell,

4:43

hell, but definitely some kind

4:46

of evil, messed up hellish

4:48

dimension, and it's leaking. I

4:50

don't know if it covers

4:52

all the cases, but definitely

4:55

most. In fact, it's

4:57

probably not the only

4:59

one. So, you think it's been

5:01

leaking out? What, just general evil?

5:03

Yeah. So I haven't tried

5:05

following Sam. Yeah. He hasn't come

5:08

back, which means it's either one

5:10

way or there's something on the

5:12

other side stopping him. And

5:14

since I'm pretty sure we've already

5:16

met things that spat out, that

5:18

means something is keeping Sam there.

5:20

Ego, it's... probably a really bad

5:23

place. Oh, now he's already dead?

5:25

No, no, no, our train of

5:27

thought is not currently stopping at

5:29

that destination. Besides, the evil portal

5:31

idea does make sense for the

5:33

whole protocol thing. Like, we knew

5:35

it would have to be bad

5:37

to explain all these monsters and

5:39

stuff from the cases, but the

5:41

OIA are literally standing in the

5:43

way of hell on earth. That's rough

5:45

Alice so obviously it's not actually Christian

5:47

hell but looking up the occult stuff

5:50

and what they would have thought hell

5:52

was and how it connects to alchemy

5:54

might be a good place to start

5:56

and and with Collins notes we might

5:58

actually be what? You need to

6:01

slow down a moment. You're making a

6:03

lot of assumptions. Look, I get it.

6:05

There's still a lot we don't know.

6:07

We don't know how many portals there

6:09

are. We don't know if all the

6:12

stuff we've read about comes from this

6:14

place or only some of it. We

6:16

don't know any of the rules on

6:18

how any of this actually works. But

6:20

we do know it's bad news. We

6:23

know it's evil and anything it spits

6:25

out. It's the same. That's not what

6:27

I was going to say. Hold

6:30

that thought, and we

6:32

can pick it back

6:34

up when I'm done

6:36

with Her Majesty. Shit.

6:38

2024. Page removed pending

6:40

legal action. Intro. The

6:42

disruption is coming from

6:44

inside the house. You

6:46

probably haven't heard of

6:49

Booth, the enigmatic video

6:51

conference startup that lodged

6:53

early last year, but

6:55

you have almost certainly

6:57

used products made by

6:59

their pioneering founders, Lila

7:01

Bailey and Chris Chavez.

7:03

Between them the pair

7:05

hold prestigious backgrounds in

7:07

advanced Oled panel displays.

7:09

generative AI, aerospace engineering,

7:11

and 3D projection modeling.

7:13

And so it was

7:16

no surprise when their

7:18

startup completed a record-breaking

7:20

initial funding round back

7:22

in 2022, with Elric

7:24

Capital Limited taking a

7:26

controlling interest. Now, Booth

7:28

stands poised to capture

7:30

the video conference market.

7:32

Its first consumer outing,

7:34

the Boothmark II, clearly

7:36

takes inspiration from the

7:38

founder's backgrounds as a

7:40

first-of- its kind, perfectly

7:43

lifelike hybrid monitor webcam

7:45

setup. According to the

7:47

marketing materials, no more

7:49

lonely work-from-home blues with

7:51

blurry, low-res co-workers, Boothmark

7:53

II will bring everyone

7:55

back in the room.

7:57

Realistic conversations over video.

8:00

True to its name, the Boothmark 2

8:02

is a booth. An array of high-res

8:04

webcams situated around a proprietary 8K 3D

8:06

display. Honestly, it looks like a carnival

8:08

photo booth, sans curtain, but this is

8:11

supposedly to help the webcam array and

8:13

integrated Lydar sensor to record and track

8:15

body head and eye movements, ensuring that

8:17

you and your conversational partner are rendered

8:19

in stunning 3D. The result, being the

8:22

uncanny sensation of the screen dissolving between

8:24

the two of you. A purposefully oblique

8:26

setup process? The Mark II is beyond

8:28

bleeding edge. In fact, it's practically still

8:30

breathing. It exists past the plane of

8:33

creature comforts that casual tech enthusiasts expect

8:35

from their world of walled gardens and

8:37

frictionless user interfaces. Instead, it harkens back

8:39

to the golden age of bulky pillars

8:41

in dedicated computer rooms. Users can expect

8:44

an arduous setup process, starting with an

8:46

intimidating safety warning in the lengthy install

8:48

guide. To maximize realism, remove all items

8:50

from the room. Do not plug the

8:52

Mark II in until all items have

8:55

been removed. position the device such that

8:57

any windows and doors are not in

8:59

view of the Mark II's camera array.

9:01

Only once this is done should you

9:03

turn on the bootmark too. The presence

9:06

of windows or doors in frame may

9:08

cause the bootmark too to have unpredictable

9:10

results. This is a punishing ask for

9:12

users who live in a post-teststock world

9:14

and I found myself working up quite

9:17

a sweat clearing out the only room

9:19

that I could afford to ransack for

9:21

this review. My bedroom. But looking back

9:23

I am glad I did because let

9:25

me tell you describing the Mark II's

9:28

behaviour behavior as... Unpredictable is charitable at

9:30

best. The Mark II defies possibility. Although

9:32

marked it as a consumer product, the

9:34

Mark II is far from that. For

9:36

the Mark II, a safe software experience

9:39

relies on industrial levels of precision operation,

9:41

and without it you are left with

9:43

a glitchy, surreal, and isolating experience. The

9:45

Mark II has no power button. Instead

9:47

it turns itself on immediately upon being

9:50

plugged in and users are greeted with

9:52

the splash page displaying the booths mark

9:54

too in in all caps desperately modern

9:56

looking sans serif font. It then dropped

9:58

me in to my first call as

10:01

soon as the logo disappeared and having

10:03

had no opportunity to give it contact

10:05

I found myself suddenly sharing my now

10:07

empty bedroom with a complete stranger. An

10:09

awkward experience at the best of times.

10:12

But I forgot about my reservations when

10:14

I realised how incredibly lifelike it felt.

10:16

It is impossible for a reviewer to

10:18

adequately describe this experience and the effect

10:21

doesn't translate to video review because the

10:23

viewer is staring at a flat projection.

10:26

Instead, imagine what it is like to be

10:28

in a room with another person. That is what

10:30

it feels like to use the Booth Mark II.

10:32

It is lifelike beyond compare. It felt like we

10:34

were sharing the same air. The man across from

10:36

me told me his name, will call

10:38

him Gregory, and that he was a

10:40

member of the Booth initiation team, or

10:43

BIT. Apparently, the BIT was designed to

10:45

welcome new users into the Mark II

10:47

ecosystem and provide a guide to a

10:49

safe and engaging user experience. It was a

10:51

nice idea, but instead he was leaving me

10:53

disconcerted, because something would feel off

10:55

about Gregory about Gregory movements. He

10:58

wasn't like a video feed, he

11:00

wasn't glitching, artifacting, blurring, or dropping

11:02

eye frames. Instead, thanks to the

11:04

hyper realism, it appeared that Gregory's

11:06

body was actually morphing, shifting, changing,

11:08

moving too fast. He looked incredibly

11:11

real, so it was especially jarring

11:13

to see him malformed in this

11:15

manner. But such is the cost of reviewing

11:17

bleeding edge tag. After a few moments

11:19

of settling in and exchanging pleasantries

11:21

about cat ownership, Gregory held a

11:23

peach up in front of him,

11:25

his arm extended. Like Gregory, it

11:28

genuinely appeared to be present

11:30

in the room with me. I swear I could

11:32

smell it. I was tempted to

11:34

reach out and take it, then

11:37

felt ridiculous having fully believed the

11:39

Mark II's illusion of depth.

11:41

Then in an absolutely

11:43

brain-breaking display, Gregory dropped the

11:45

peach into my room. It landed in

11:48

front of the Mark II with an

11:50

unceremonious thud. An actual

11:52

peach on the actual ground. I

11:54

was stunned. I picked it up. It

11:56

felt real. I looked behind the screen

11:59

searching for an explanation and Gregory

12:01

gave a laugh at my confusion though

12:03

it gave way to an angry bark

12:05

as I turned them up too from

12:07

one side to the other looking for

12:09

a hidden shoot that could have been

12:11

holding the peach. He explained that I

12:13

was ruining the setup but the damage

12:15

was done. My bedroom door and a

12:17

small window were in frame and he

12:19

was furious. I apologised but to no

12:21

avail. Gregory shared some creatively offensive words

12:23

with me. Apparently the BIT could use

12:26

some training on acceptable customer customer interactions

12:28

and then the screen went dark. It

12:30

didn't diminish all at once though, instead

12:32

it disappeared into a pinpoint, like an

12:34

old CRT monitor. Then there was no

12:36

way I could find to turn it

12:38

back on. My first video conference call

12:40

with the Mark II was over, ended

12:42

by an impressively lifelike argument. Despite this,

12:44

the demo had been amazing, and I

12:46

was still riding high on the hyper

12:49

reality of it all. That is, until

12:51

I took a closer look at my

12:53

surroundings. It took a moment for me

12:55

to even process what I was seeing.

12:57

The window and the door of my

12:59

bedroom had vanished. And vanished. I was

13:01

in a completely bare and sealed room,

13:03

shrunk to only what the Mark II's

13:05

cameras had been able to capture. My

13:07

first inclination was that this must be

13:09

an illusion from the booth, some bizarre

13:11

unintended result due to its moving position.

13:14

I reached out to where my bedroom

13:16

door had been, expecting to feel a

13:18

handle behind whatever projection was including it,

13:20

but there was nothing there but bare

13:22

wall. I knocked on it, feeling it

13:24

solid beneath my knuckles, then banged on

13:26

it, then screamed for help. Nothing. At

13:29

that point I started to panic. I

13:31

wrapped my hand in my shirt, then

13:33

pounded on the wall over and over,

13:35

but they held solid. They weren't the

13:37

drywall from my house. Instead they were

13:40

hard and slightly shiny like ceramic. I

13:42

began to bang on everything but the

13:44

mark too, which I was now terrified

13:46

of damaging any further, but to no

13:48

avail. Root force wasn't going to help.

13:51

I then started to realize just how

13:53

bad this could get. It might be

13:55

a long time before anyone other than

13:57

my cat Randall noticed I was missing.

13:59

I took some solace in knowing that

14:02

his automatic bowl would feed him regularly

14:04

for at least another week or two.

14:06

In the meantime though, things were going

14:08

to get very uncomfortable. Now, any readers

14:10

of early Slade Tech might remember that

14:13

this used to be more of a

14:15

survivalism blog. This was a harsh environment

14:17

with few resources, even by my standards.

14:19

I could maybe ring the sweat out

14:21

of my clothes, meditate to avoid time

14:23

loss. Eventually I could attempt to eat

14:26

the leather from my boots. Not much.

14:28

Of course, there was the peach. It

14:30

wouldn't keep, but it was real food

14:32

and I had an idea of how

14:34

long it would last me. I decided

14:37

to give myself three days to be

14:39

found before I prepared for the worst.

14:41

For three days I sat as still

14:43

as I could, preserving energy, meditating. I

14:45

soon came to see the booth as

14:48

my only hope of survival. I would

14:50

swing from forced calm to feelings of

14:52

existential dread and white-hot rage. I took

14:54

the smallest possible bites out of the

14:56

peach but it was still half gone

14:59

within 24 hours. My guts started burning

15:01

and I dreamed fitfully that her hand

15:03

would come out of the mark too

15:05

and pull me down into darkness. Time

15:07

felt infinite and uncaring in all directions.

15:09

I lost track. I ate the last

15:12

of the peach. Then I was out

15:14

of time. I prayed to the booth

15:16

mark too that night before I closed

15:18

my eyes and fell asleep. I woke.

15:20

Weekly to light emanating from the device

15:23

and looked up to see Gregory eyeing

15:25

me curiously. He then turned his head

15:27

and spoke to someone off screen. Yeah,

15:29

this one's done. Kill process. Hearing this

15:31

I staggered towards the screen as fast

15:34

as my body would carry me. Then

15:36

before Gregory noticed me I had reached

15:38

my hands through the screen into his

15:40

room and round his neck. Then the

15:42

screen snapped black. My fingers caught inside.

15:45

I felt the bones sheer and the

15:47

muscles severed as my fingers were neatly

15:49

amputated. I could feel blood pulsing out

15:51

of me, though all I could see

15:53

was the perfect black of the screen.

15:56

But I swear I could still... feel

15:58

my fingers digging into Gregory's throat. I

16:00

cried out in pain and used my

16:02

ever weakening arms to try and force

16:04

myself through somehow. The screen bent then

16:06

began to yield to my effort. I

16:09

pushed and screamed trying to somehow use

16:11

Gregory as a lever until the hand

16:13

holding him slipped and I felt something

16:15

fleshy come free in my hand. I

16:17

didn't stop prying though and grasping until

16:20

I was able to find the edge

16:22

of the mark too on Gregory's side

16:24

and heave myself into the other room.

16:26

That was when I opened my eyes

16:28

and looked down to see Gregory's ear

16:31

in my mangled palms and my own

16:33

fingers resting gently on the carpeted floor.

16:35

Gregory's room still had a door in

16:37

it, thank God, and it was ajar.

16:39

It looked like he had made a

16:42

quick getaway. Gingerly lifting my bloodied fingers

16:44

and stumbling through, I found an empty

16:46

suburban house. No pictures on the walls,

16:48

no real furniture, just a trail of

16:50

blood leading out to the front door.

16:53

I followed it and flagged down help

16:55

as soon as possible. I

16:57

made it to the hospital and told

16:59

the doctors my hands got slammed in

17:02

a car door. I did not mention

17:04

Gregory or the Mark II to anyone.

17:06

Who would believe me? Besides, it's not

17:08

like anyone had noticed my absence. Except

17:11

for Randall, of course. verdict. The Boothmark

17:13

II. technically over-delivers. The tech is literally

17:15

boundary-pushing, but it is also exceedingly dangerous,

17:17

overseen by a company that seems apparently

17:20

criminally apathetic to its users, and if

17:22

there was any likelihood that it would

17:24

see the actual market in this state,

17:26

I would warn people of it as

17:29

a five-figure death sentence. I did contact

17:31

Booth about my experience, and they claimed

17:33

to have no employee named Gregory, and

17:35

there is no such thing as a

17:38

booth initiation team. Their legal team also

17:40

reminded me that I had signed an

17:42

NDA to join the Alpha test, but

17:44

after what they have put me through,

17:46

but after what they have put me

17:49

through. I don't care if they sue

17:51

me. I intend to track Gregory down.

17:53

After all, I still have his ear.

17:55

In the meantime though, keep an eye

17:58

out for a tech row with one

18:00

ear and see seriously poor customer service.

18:02

One star, for quick

18:04

delivery and solid packaging.

18:07

So I think he used the

18:09

salt config manager and

18:12

found an unmonitored orphan

18:14

process which... What? Oh

18:16

right, so apparently an orphan

18:19

process is one that should

18:21

have a parent process to

18:23

monitor it, but like it's

18:25

gone, deleted, deleted, deleted, dead.

18:28

Presumably to make the process

18:30

a more compelling protagonist or

18:32

something. Right. So then you've

18:35

got this orphan process just

18:37

running around spamming threads and

18:39

eating up massive amounts of

18:42

processing power via Cron task.

18:44

And I'm starting to the

18:46

task that basically Linux, but

18:48

based on Annex, doesn't matter.

18:51

The important thing is that

18:53

because of this, the land network should

18:55

have already failed. I see.

18:57

But it hasn't. Right? And if

18:59

I'm reading these notes correctly, this

19:02

is just the tip of a

19:04

very nerdy iceberg. It's no wonder

19:06

it was driving Colin up

19:08

the wall because he couldn't...

19:10

You haven't understood a word

19:13

of that, have you? Look, I don't

19:15

need to know every detail of the

19:17

thing to be the manager. I just

19:19

need to know how to balance it.

19:22

So either tell me how I can

19:24

increase W here, or

19:26

get out. Fine. Alice,

19:33

wait. Please help me.

19:35

Shove over. I will not. So

19:37

each of these cases

19:40

is categorised on four

19:42

metrics with a

19:44

standard integer scale. That's

19:46

your DPW. Okay. Now

19:49

I'm pretty sure I need

19:51

to try and keep them

19:53

as even as possible.

19:55

Okay. So it makes

19:57

sense that if you're...

19:59

on W that means we

20:01

should probably prioritize processing cases

20:03

with a higher rank on

20:05

that metric to bring the

20:07

average up, right? Makes sense?

20:09

So it's just a hunch,

20:11

but I bet if we

20:13

have a look at the

20:15

old cases and then try

20:18

and sort by W we

20:20

can find out which cases

20:22

got the biggest scores in

20:24

that metric and reverse engineer

20:26

what you need. That's very

20:28

insightful. Yeah, well, it helps

20:30

knowing the whole thing is

20:32

powered by demons and spite.

20:34

You're starting to sound like

20:36

Colin. Good. Now, unless I'm

20:38

wrong, which, let's be honest,

20:40

is pretty damn likely, when

20:42

we cross-reference the shortlist for

20:44

common terms, we'll find out

20:46

what Freddie thinks you need,

20:48

and that is more... bonzo.

20:50

Bologs. So much for that

20:52

idea. Okay, Alice, you may

20:54

go. Hang on,

20:56

weren't you going

20:58

on about Mr.

21:00

Bonver went now?

21:02

Whatever. In

21:29

here. Oh, thanks Georgie.

21:32

I managed to swing

21:34

by the corner shop,

21:36

so I'm good on

21:38

Napies now. I tried

21:40

to get you coffee,

21:43

but they hadn't restocked.

21:45

And he didn't have

21:47

baby toddler toothpaste, so

21:49

he'll have to make

21:52

do with mine until

21:54

I managed... What? No,

21:56

I'm fine. If I

21:58

hurry, I can get

22:01

breakfast prepped and ordered

22:03

along with the mildest

22:05

toddler toothpaste they make.

22:07

and a new sippy

22:09

cup because he's managed

22:12

to chew three. the

22:14

dinosaur one. Georgie you

22:16

didn't have to. I

22:18

know but I did

22:21

and it's fine. I

22:23

even brought my own

22:25

coffee see. Hmm. Thanks

22:27

Georgie. Hmm. It's

22:30

just been a bit of

22:33

a rough time at work.

22:35

We lost some staff recently,

22:37

including the manager, and it's

22:39

a lot. Need to talk

22:42

about it? No. Maybe. I

22:44

don't know. New manager. Well?

22:46

Yeah, that's, uh... She doesn't

22:48

have a clue what to

22:51

do, and Alice is getting

22:53

tense. Hmm? The boy you

22:55

were pretending you weren't seeing

22:58

last time I asked. I

23:00

don't... How do you... Had

23:02

a profile on your Netflix?

23:04

Oh. Right. Yeah. Well, um,

23:07

he was one of the

23:09

ones that moved on. Oh,

23:11

sweetie. Maybe he's moved on

23:14

to somewhere better? I doubt

23:16

it. And... And it was

23:18

kind of my fault? I

23:20

see. Does he know it

23:23

was your fault? Yeah, I'm

23:25

pretty sure he does. Han,

23:27

was hoping we could play

23:30

ignorant, blame an X or

23:32

something? No, in fact, his

23:34

X is starting to suspect

23:36

as well. Hmm. Then maybe

23:39

you could blame it on

23:41

the old manager? Georgie, I

23:43

don't think we're going to

23:46

find it. I get it.

23:48

The secret problems of your

23:50

secret job are just too

23:52

secret for... me to help

23:55

with. But you know I'm

23:57

here, if you actually do

23:59

want to talk, right? Probably

24:02

won't even put it on

24:04

the podcast. I appreciate the

24:06

chat, but honestly I just

24:08

think I need sleep. That's

24:11

fair. I'll take Jack to

24:13

the playground once he wakes

24:15

up, give you a bit

24:18

of peace and quiet. Thanks

24:20

Georgie. Don't mention it. You

24:22

feel better after the rest.

24:24

If, all, it's just a

24:27

job, right? The

24:49

Magnus Protocol is a podcast

24:52

distributed by Rusty Quill, and

24:54

licensed under a Creative Commons

24:57

Attribution non-commercial share-alike 4.0 international

24:59

license. The series is created

25:01

by Jonathan Sims and Alexander

25:04

Janewall, and directed by Alexander

25:06

Janewall. This episode was written

25:09

by Dylan Griggs and Alexander

25:11

Janewall, and edited with additional

25:14

materials by Jonathan Sims. With

25:16

vocal edits, by Lohriand Davis,

25:19

soundscaping by Tessavo. and Mastering

25:21

by Catherine Renella, with music

25:23

by Sam Jones. It featured

25:26

Billy Hindle as Alice Dyer,

25:28

Anusha Battersby as Gwen Bouchard,

25:31

Lori and Davis as Celia

25:33

Ripley, Sasha Siena as Georgie

25:36

Barker, with additional voices from

25:38

Alexander Janual. The Magnus Protocol

25:41

is produced by April Somner,

25:43

with executive producers Alexander Janual,

25:45

Danney McDona, Lynn C. and

25:48

Samantha F.G. Hamilton, and associate

25:50

producers Jordan L. Hawke, Taylor

25:53

Michael's, Nicole Hillman, C.T.T.us der

25:55

Raven, and Megan Nice. To

26:03

subscribe, view associated materials

26:05

or join our patron,

26:07

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26:10

reviews online, tweet us

26:12

at the Rusty Quil,

26:14

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or email us via

26:18

mail at rustyquil.com. Thanks

26:20

for listening.